Beetles and consciousness

A beetle in a box

‘Suppose everyone had a box with something in it: we call it a “beetle”. No one can look into anyone else’s box, and everyone says he knows what a beetle is only by looking at his beetle.’ — Ludwig Wittgenstein, Philosophical Investigations, Sec. 293.

Behaviourism: People say there’s a beetle inside the box.

Cosmopsychism: We are all inside the beetle in the box.

Eliminativism: There’s no beetle in the box.

Epiphenomenalism: There’s a beetle in the box but it’s harmless.

Emergentism: If the box is fancy enough, a beetle will appear inside it.

First-order representationalism: The beetle in the box is transparent.

Higher-order thought theory: When you think about the box, a beetle appears inside it.

Higher-order perception theory: When you look at the box, a beetle appears inside it.

Illusionism: It only seems as if there’s a beetle in the box.

Interactionism: There’s a beetle in the box and it bites.

Materialism: There’s a beetle in my brain.

Mysterianism: I’ll never understand how the beetle got into the box.

New physics: The beetle got into the box through microtubules.

Nonreductive materialism: There’s a beetle in my brain but it’s hiding.

Panpsychism: Electrons have tiny boxes with tiny beetles in them.

Property dualism: The beetle in the box is made out of ectoplasm.

Quietism: Beetle? Box?

Self-representationalism: When you put the box in front of a mirror, a beetle appears inside it.

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