With apologies to John Lennon
Imagine there’re no qualia
It’s easy if you try
No feel or what-its-likeness
Just plain old cog sci
Imagine all the zombies
Being just like us
Imagine there’re no inverts
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing for Mary to learn
And no hard problem, too
Imagine all the people
Being illusionist
You may say I’m a quiner
But there’s nothing wrong with that
I hope someday you’ll join us
And learn what it’s like to be a bat.